Saturday 27 November 2010

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her.  Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.





First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.  One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. 

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship. 

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.


Friday 26 November 2010

How To Get My Ex back If He Wants More Space

Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfect is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.





- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.

- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.

- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.

- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.


- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
 

Thursday 25 November 2010

How To Get Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend

Sacrifice and compromise are both critical parts in the give and take that goes hand in hand with any relationship. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?" then you are going to need to keep these things in mind. Nothing is going to make mending a broken relationship simple, but some of the advice contained within this article can certainly make it a lot less difficult overall to give him a reason to want to come back to you.

 
So while you may be obsessing with the all important question, "how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?", what you need to be focusing on is rectifying the causes of failure. By doing so you will be  able to eliminate the tension and stress which brought the split on in the first place.

So, How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend, you ask?


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When a relationship fails, you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong. If your boyfriend left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the relationship was becoming stale because there was not enough of you in it, or the relationship was getting too claustrophobic because there was too much of you in it. Either way, one of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend", then you need to start looking at which of these led to the break up so you can act accordingly.

Whatever the issue is that chiefly contributed to the split, it was probably either something that you did, or something that you didn't do. It may be harsh to look at things this way, but that is simply how it usually works. The person who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the person doing the splitting simply felt driven away. So now what happens, and how can you manage to get him to come back? The first step is to change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.

You need to sit down and really take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the breakup? Which of these things were your fault, and which were not your fault?

Rule out the ones that were out of your control, since they continue to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did do wrong, the ones that you can in fact change. If your biggest problem is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a very good chance that you can still get back together with him. However, you must be certain you really are willing to make the necessary changes to appeal to him again.


Just knowing how to get back together with your ex boyfriend is not enough. It won't happen unless you are willing to take action. Now!


Wednesday 24 November 2010

How can I Get my Ex Back with a Confident Attitude

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts believe that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"


Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.


Tuesday 23 November 2010

How to Get Back Together with My Ex in 3 Steps

Have you just recently experienced a break up, and you are wondering "how can I get back together with my ex”? You may want to score your ex back immediately, and this is a common feeling that everyone experiences.

You can find yourself following into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. But is this really going to make things better? Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse, chasing your ex away even further.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question "How do I get back together with my ex?"



Step 1 - How to get back with my ex: Accept the Break Up!

First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin/. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by all. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

Step 2 - How to get back with my ex: Do not contact your ex!

Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves, that may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them.

Step 3 - How to get back with my ex: Plan Ahead for the Get Together

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.

"How to get back with my ex?" Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.


Monday 22 November 2010

How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an abrupt end, either one or both parties involved may still be in doubt that the end is really the end, and this is especially true when a relationship is new. Some men simply cannot accept the fact that their girlfriend walked away. Therefore, they find themselves still hoping she'll still be there in the morning and that it was all a dream. Are you asking "How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend", it is important that you create a plan regarding how to do it.

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are numerous steps to take. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.



- There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. But first, you should ask yourself some questions Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or you don't believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.

- Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you cannot help them, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her.

- Learn how to control your feelings, forgetting about self pity and instead working on the positive aspects of working things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.

- Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually.

- Above all else, analyze what went awry with the relationship. There must have been a problem that led to the end of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to get back together with your ex. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of her needs weren't being met, and work on rectifying those issues.

Hope this helps.

Thursday 18 November 2010

Heartbroken - Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, "Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day.  Every relationship is different, so every break up is different.  But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

Be nice. 

That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want.  It’s not.  If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from.  If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.

The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away.  Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake. 

If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway.  You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now.  You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together. 

You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together.  Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now. 

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor. 

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship.  You’re part of the past, and not a priority.  Being nice right now is crucial.  You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now.  Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later.  What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on.  If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy. 

But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you.  Games like this usually don’t work.  Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up".


Click Here Now to find out more about using male psychology and other powerfully effective methods proven to get your ex boyfriend back. Put an end to your painful breakup and see how you can learn step by step how to get your ex back starting as soon as possible.

Tuesday 16 November 2010

How To Fix A Broken Relationship - 5 Ways to Get Back at Your Ex

Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Unfortunately, break ups do happen, and they are nerve racking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex but is this really the best step to take? One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.

1 - Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.

2 - Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.

3 - Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.

4 - Get the heck out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5 - Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.

Thursday 4 November 2010

Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me - How To Tell

If your ex shows a little interest, or seems more interested in going out and spending time with you than in the past, or if you notice signs that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then it is normal to be little hope, but you should avoid jumping the gun. You ask yourself "does my ex want to get back with me"?

Sometimes, when the former ex shows interest again after a break it is just a game. They can see that you love them, and may simply be trying to attract attention without actually wanting to get you back. So, unless the former ex looks really really interested in spending time with you, you will wasting time because they have other opportunities in the pipeline. And worst of all they can be doing this for revenge for some misunderstood wrong. Therefore, it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should concentrate on the reading of the situation before the action.

Usually when you split up with your ex, or he or she splits up with you, it is natural to miss eachother, or a desire to return to one another. This is especially true after a year or more together. Your ex is likely to miss their partner no matter what, because of memories of you both together during this period. But there are other emotions that come into play, like regrets. If you think, "does my ex want to get back with me" it is likely that your ex may think the same thing for the same reasons.

These are certainly very common signs that your ex is interested in your return. But even if you want to get back your ex, you should not jump the gun. The best way to play with things is to play hard to get (reasonably), which is probably what your ex will react to best anyway. If you just jump into things full force, so you can find the former ex pushes you back. In fact, if your former ex indicates that they wants you back, then chances are, it was the difficult "hard-to-get" game, which has led to an interest in the first place.

Clearly, many people wonder "does my ex want to get back with me?". But the truth is, it is better to get an idea of the situation before acting. If your ex really does want to get back with you then playing hard to get (reasonably) is the best scenario because it will prevent you to get hurt if your ex is not really serious about coming back with you.


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Monday 1 November 2010

What Can I do To Get My Ex Back - Part 2

Most people find themselves asking "What can I do to get my ex back" following a breakup. They begin to start thinking and philosophizing about everything that could have been done differently. They even begin to make plans about apology letters and other things that might be able to help them score their relationship back.

This tends to be a dead end for one reason above all else: Because you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Some people become emotional and sometimes they do not even know what led to the break up at hand and they may not know what is making them feel the way they do. In many circumstances it is only harmful to lose all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong.

The first main strategy to answer the question about "What can I do to get my ex back" is to forget about the relationship for a while, putting your energy into something else. Go out, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about women or men in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.

Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders.

The effect that strategies like this will have, is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. And in how you perceive the subject of relationships. After a few months, you may have a much better idea of how you want to proceed with your ex.

Do you still want to get back together with them? Or are you ready to move on? Act accordingly. If you still want to get back together with them, it might be time to figure out how they are feeling about you.

Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg them to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional.

Instead, what you should be doing is playing things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from them, they are probably missing you as badly as you are missing them. Play hard to get a little (don't over do it) and show them that you are doing fine without her. This will inspire them to really rethink things.

And if getting back together with your ex really is meant to be, now is the time when it will become apparent. Be careful not to analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way when trying to figure out "What can I do to get my ex back". Just take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.


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